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Halloween is coming. Get your costumes

Halloween is right around the bend. As many of you know, it’s my favorite holiday, aside from my birthday (which is TODAY). I normally do it up as a zombie. There’s just something about reanimated corpses that just gets me going. Anyways, this year I decide to try something new.

First, I’m buying my costume. I can’t remember the when I did this last. I just don’t have the energy or strength, yet, to do justice to my costume portfolio. So, I’m gonna put my faith in the mastery of another artist.
Second, I’m not going as a ZED. I know, calm down. Let me explain. With all the medical crap that I’ve gone through this year… I don’t want to play dead. It’s just too close for comfort.

To recap, no zeds and a pre-made costume. But where to go? On Tuesday I cruised by the mall, to see if the costume shop had opened yet. The signs went up back in August, but that was it. I was relieved to see they were open and fully stocked. After 2hrs of searching throughout the seasonal shop I gave up. All of their low-quality, cheaply made items either looked like crap or were only in size small or XL. I’m a slim medium. Not a small or, thank God, an XL.

I went to the clerk to ask for help. Man was that a waste of time. He was obviously a seasonal temp. He knew nothing about their selections or any of their policies. Plus the little stoner could barely keep his eyes open, while I was talking to him.

I asked if they would get in anymore sizes or selections. “Nope. This is it.”
How about a special order for one of these in my size? “I don’t think they can do that.”
Can you find out? “Uh, you can leave your name, I guess.”
You’ll need my number, too. Never mind.

So, like many of the things I buy…I went online. I spent some time tracking down a site that offered more than the cheap-crap the shop offered, kids stuff, giant boobs, or gothic nurses. Well, I might be able to pull off the gothic nurse, I did do drag once upon a time.

After a while I came across a great site for premium Halloween costumes. They have a huge selection of top quality unique costumes. I’ve never seen a costume shop with stuff this good. I checked around the net, for complaints and gripes. Come to find they are known for their quality, friendliness, shipping times, and affordable prices.

I was thinking about doing something from one of the comic books, that was recently a movie. They have tons of comic book characters. However, I decide to go another way. I have some friends that I think would fit those characters a lot more. I’m not much of a super hero… More like the Handsome Devil or Napoleon. Who could argue with me being the Devil? I mean really, people say I’m the Devil all the time. Napoleon, I’m short-ish and I will rule the world one day… Which one do you think fits my personality? Vote for your pick in the comments. The best comment by Sep 30th wins a special prize….hehe.

Now that I’ve told you about my holiday plans and given you the chance to pick my costume…I’m gonna give you my picks for my best blogging-buddies.

Graham. Because, I would wrestle you to the death any day. Plus you know those Roman soldiers were all about the man love. Buy It!

Turnip. For all the unrecognized moderating and educating you do in the forum threads. Buy It!

Ken. I would love to set sail with you, keeping the young boyish crew in line. I’d swab your poop deck. Buy It!

BenBarden. This way you’ll be ready next time a fire breaks out in the server room. I would love for you to rescue me. Fireman’s carry right to the wedding chapel. Buy It!

Cow. Because you are always stirring the pot and lighting the flames of anarchy. You are the bad little girl pretending to be wholesome. I’m not fooled. Buy It!

Lips. You should know why. The “Batcave” and the young wards you have around you are reason enough. Buy It!

Gmomma. This isn’t just because you are supper-geek. It’s also because you would look smokin’ in it. I think you’ll use this costume for more than just one night. Your husband can send his thanks to my PO Box. Buy It!

Realtor. Stan paid me $100 for that one. There are a lot of EC guys that want to see pics of you in this. Buy It!

MonkeyChaps. Come on “bra” your furry plump ass would look scrumptious in this. Buy It!

SWM. I would peel and eat you. “It’s peanut butter jelly time.” Buy It!

BakedBlog. Now you can deliver your pies and cookies to the boys and make their mouths water for something else. Buy It!

Debbie. I know you and Stan are always off smoking Ken’s stash. Then, running off for a quickie. Buy It!

Stan. You think you are so perfect! Getting all the bloggers to love you. With your perfect hair and “bat”. Buy It!

Canucklehead. I thought about you as strapping brawny Mountie. But this would be just too cute. I wanna see those pale legs. Buy It!

Cryin. This is what I think when I see you. Some chick from the 60-70’s, all artsy and colorful. Buy It!

Sex Kitten. This isn’t a costume. But a suggestion for appropriate work room attire. Buy It!

Odd Vantage. You huff and puff a lot. Plus, when you want to get at BakedBlog. Buy It!

Fragile. I just wanna see you do the dance with castanets. Buy It!

EvilWoobie. After the conversation we had the other day…you should get it. Now all the boys will be allowed to play with dolls. Buy It!

About Bad Evan

I am the one and only...Bad Evan.


  1. Well done – very well done.

    Acadia’s last blog post..Wow Wednesday

  2. Oh, yeah, I get it. I love the Barbie box lol.
    There are love dolls and there are LOVE DOLLS.

    The most amazing thing that could happen to the blogosphere is If evan can sell his brand of loving and come up with an amazing bad evan doll f or all the boys to purchase discreetly.

    BUY IT!

    Evil Woobie’s last blog post..On Mama’s Boys and Girlfriend Survival

  3. Interesting costumes,and tag lines you have added to us all.I kinda like peanut butter,and jelly.

    Also have a very Happy Birthday !

  4. you told on Stan and I? I can’t believe it! I do love the outfit though, think I will buy it for my next seminar.

    By the way, Happy Birthday my sweetie!

    Debbie Lane’s last blog post..Hard Won Wisdom

  5. LOVE mine…..if I was doing halloween this year, I’d so be that slut…lol

    Phone Girl’s last blog post..Is it an ideal because it’s unattainable?

  6. This is awesome! I LOVE my costume; if I didn’t have to wear it out in Toronto in the cold – I would totally go as this for Halloween and I would make my costume too. Kudos Evan, this was a lot of work! Sorry to hear you’re not well enough to make your own costume {{{{hugs}}}}

    And more importantly, Happy Birthday!!

    fragileheart’s last blog post..Monday Madness: Let’s get serious for a minute

  7. Oh crap, I was supposed to vote for a costume. I vote for Napoleon!! I mean granted the Devil is always a cool costume but let’s face it it’s been done. Napoleon however, is better than the devil. He actually accomplished something… he’s in the history books. He is a legend. The devil? He’s a figment of your imagination!

    fragileheart’s last blog post..Monday Madness: Let’s get serious for a minute

  8. You should pick the Devil fit… Your horny horns and tips of the pitchfork should be replaced with… brb, door.

    Realtor…’s last blog post..Top 5 Home Selling Tips Revealed!

  9. I think I would have preferred the mountie – that is just Dudley-do-wrong!
    That being said, thanks for thinking of me, I think.

    /goes as ‘Fat Elvis’ every year …

  10. lol you have some interesting picks. I like the doll box that’s cute. You should be Napoleon, he’s slightly different from the ordinary devil? Plus he was french, grab a fake accent. So hot 😛 Just my 2 cents.

    Leslie’s last blog post..Raindrops Are Falling On My Head.

  11. Sailor eh?


    Young Ken stood on the burning deck
    His back against the mast
    He said, “I will not move an inch
    Til Cap’n Evan walks Past.

    Great post! Cheers Mate!

    Ken Armsrrong’s last blog post..Short Story – JJ’s Note (Part 1)

  12. Hey Evan,

    How are you feeling? I wanted to get in touch about Crohn’s, please email me.

  13. Hey dude, I *so* missed the Birthday thing. Happy Happy Birthday!!!!


    Ken Armstrong’s last blog post..Short Story – JJ’s Note – Part 2

  14. Your birthday! Happy happy day! Remember my sister’s birthday rule: you get one day of celebration for every decade of your age. And thanks for the Leia outfit. You’re right. Hubby would love that. haha!

    G Momma’s last blog post..This sad story caught my attention

  15. Excellent article. Love the costumes.


  16. First off HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope it was a good one! Second, I love your post. I LOVE Halloween and start early every year since I host a haunted house and party! Sheer madness and quite possibly my last spook-tacular event after nearly 20 years. Thanks for the costume tips. I have no idea what I will be this year myself. I’ve seen my last days as a witch, sexy or otherwise too! Please feel free to visit my blog and post any comments or suggestions you might have as I am always hunting out new ideas for my bash! Again, thanks for the great post. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

    Lisa’s last blog post..CraZy is as CraZy does…

  17. I want to be something very scarey this Halloween – so I may just have to make a Sarah Palin costume. I love Halloween – my birthday is the day before (Mischief Night).

    Lady Rose’s last blog post..Sarah Palin for President

  18. Oh god, I need a costume badly! Only one week left and I don’t know what to wear! :O

    Happy belated birthday! 😀

  19. I don’t know how I landed here, but hey, it doesn’t even matter…

    It’s been a good laugh and one of the best articles I’ve read in a long time. I don’t know any of the people you nominate here, but the Halloween costumes make them real characters. And your lines are somewhere between tips, tricks and treats!

  20. What’s the deal for the judging tomorrow night? Inquiring minds need to know. time, place, what, where, when, why,how, etc.

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